I cannot possibly be the only person who thought when I saw the title to this book: YES! I cannot wait to buy a stack of copies of this book for the jerks in my life! Finally, a book for that relative who cannot resist the plunge into the political discussion that ruins the holidays every year, or my colleague who harasses and abuses me day in and day out in the office, or that ex who dashed my heart (two decades ago), or...
Alas, that book is NOT this one.
In fact, there are a few sharp turns that one is challenged to adjust to when orienting oneself to Dr. Borg's solo project, "Don't Be A Dick":
1. The William Alanson White Institute-trained psychoanalyst of the illustrious Irrelationship series has penned a book that requires the traditional brown paper bag cover if you want to read it in public.
2. While imagining a wild guffaw like "F— Feelings," or a raucous hardy-har-har like "A**hole, No More," Dr. Borg quickly makes it clear that this book is no joke. In fact, he is deadly serious about recovering from what he calls "dickery," and dedicated to helping me, the reader, do the same.
3. One might crack this book bracing themselves for a good self-flagellating spanking, having their narcissism, self-absorption and bad behavior confronted and then pried from their habitual clutches. But instead, Dr. Borg offers understanding, compassion, and an openness to receiving love and care from others as well as a consistent plea for self acceptance.
Yes, I was at first blown away that a book with this title would take on the challenge of helping the reader, me, address my own anxieties and insecurities and the ways they are acted out in "dickish" behavior. But as I read on, I found myself becoming increasingly optimistic about the possibility of understanding, working through and letting go of those troublesome behaviors that, as Dr. Borg suggests, are the equivalent of walking through my world wearing a "kick-me" sign.
Full reveal here: I am one of the ones that bought this book for someone else. I am one of those people who thought: Oh, I have a whole clientele of persons who'd be much better off NOT BEING DICKS! Only to find out that it is that kind of thinking that qualifies someone, in the author's use of the term, as a dick. And that is perhaps the most startling bait and switch operation: That one can examine their bad and off-putting behavior, and see that the very behavior that has put us at war with the world and ourselves, when relinquished, can be the arch through which we walk through to find greater self-awareness, -care, -acceptance and -love.
As a shrink myself, I might have titled this book, "The Deep Psychology of Dickery" (a word Dr. Borg uses throughout the book). And though categorized as "Anger Management," as someone who treats couples, I can wholeheartedly recommend this as a book that is really about healing our relationships with others and ourselves.
Ummmmmmm...by the way, am I the only one who in a million years would NOT have guessed all that from the title?!
Don't Be a Dick: Change Yourself, Change Your World Audible Audiobook – Unabridged
©2019 Mark B. Borg, Jr. (P)2019 Tantor
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|Listening Length||6 hours and 47 minutes|
|Author||Mark B. Borg Jr. PhD|
|Whispersync for Voice||Ready|
|Audible.com.au Release Date||19 November 2019|
|Best Sellers Rank||
96,903 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
29 in Adult Psychology
66 in Anger Management
183 in Self-Help for Anger Management
4.4 out of 5
65 global ratings
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Top reviews from other countries
Bait and Switch...and that’s a good thingReviewed in the United States on 30 December 2019
13 people found this helpful
Yep.Reviewed in the United States on 5 February 2020
Perfect gift for your husbands/boyfriends.
5 people found this helpful
Kristine A Matthews
Be Good to Yourself: Read this bookReviewed in the United States on 4 December 2019
Well written, easy to read, full of interesting, relatable stories & practical exercises. Amazing how a little book helped shift my perspective & transform the way I am relating to so many things: people, life events, & most importantly myself! Highly recommend this book for anyone!
3 people found this helpful
Deep insight in common languageReviewed in the United States on 28 April 2020
I thoroughly enjoyed this common-sense, common language explanation of heavy psychological concepts. That was interesting, but in a more practical sense, it helped me look at myself and see how I can act different and feel better. Great book by a brilliant and down-to-earth writer!
3 people found this helpful